Confessions of a Mommy

Time doesn’t play. My baby boy is shy from being 4 months old in a week’s time. It felt like it was just yesterday I gave birth to him, it felt like it was yesterday I learned the ropes to breastfeeding, it felt like yesterday he would fall asleep on my chest.. Now, he is still my baby but he is definitely 10 pounds heavier, alert and just excited exploring the world he is in; I know, you can tell it in his eyes, his body, his arms and feet.. I am enjoying him being this age. I don’t know if I’ll have another baby again but he is my first love..

As I look at my son, my benefactor, my protector, I can’t help but wonder what kind of life he will grow up and live in. Will he love playing ball with his buddies out in the field or would he prefer making music with his friends in the basement? Would he love the beautiful world of arts or would he be more intrigued by the methodical and systematic universe to the sciences just like his dad? Would he forever be my best friend?

We live in a topsy turvy world; with so much violence and hate and cruelty, I wish and pray that he is forever protected by the divine power of God. I hope that he grows up to be a contributing member to the society and beat all odds against him. He is after all, half black-half Muslim, the lethal combination you would want your child to have growing up in this prejudiced and bigoted part of the world. But I know he will be successful one day – In whatever he chooses to do, I stand by him and his choice. I am just a mere advisor to him and I can only give him my consent when the time comes.

Right now, I will protect him and raise him to be the man I know he already is. To be the man respectful to his future wife, his children.To be the man who doesn’t forget his parent’s struggling days and his roots. To the man who knows that everything starts as humble beginnings.

I love you, Alden. You are mommy’s baby now and you will always be mine but I am afraid to let you go (even if it is not for another 18 years), the thought scares me. Thank you for being here with mom and dad. You are the anchor I’ve been searching for all my life..

Your Mama, xoxo.

My life ❤️️

 

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